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 Post subject: London Times Obituary
PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2007 3:39 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2006 9:35 pm
Posts: 78
Location: Gods Country
Some of you guys will have seen this but I though I would post it, the way that the World is going is doing me head in!
banghead

London Times Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense - Monday, 20 Aug 2007
_______________________________

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He
will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:Knowing
when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life
isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in
charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition..

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer sun lotion or an Elastoplast to a student; but
could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to
have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better
treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you
couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar
could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot!! She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement..

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now,
Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone. If
you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do
nothing.'

And a little extra.........................

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 600
employees and has the following statistics?

29 have been accused of spouse abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad cheques

117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

3 have done time for assault

71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

4 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested for shoplifting

21 are currently defendants in lawsuits

84 have been arrested for drink driving in the last year

Which organisation is this?

It's the 635 members of the House of Commons, the same group that cranks

out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in check.

_________________
Bacon Sarnies!! mmmmnn


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 Post subject: Re: London Times Obituary
PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2007 3:50 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 17, 2006 9:54 pm
Posts: 13354
Location: on me bike
clappp

_________________
personal assistant to Nelson the German Shepherd


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 Post subject: Re: London Times Obituary
PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2007 4:14 pm 
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Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 12:46 am
Posts: 16992
Location: The people's democratic illegal republic of Catalonia
Very good but now take out all the irrelevant parts and see if it still hits as hard.

Here's one to get you going: the McDonalds hot coffee law suit was entirely justified.

http://www.lectlaw.com/files/cur78.htm

Here's another: being suspected, accused, arrested, or a defendant is not a crime.

Some people just take any old fookin' thing at face value then have the gall to talk about common sense.

:roll: :roll: :roll:

:evil:

_________________
No, your children are not the special ones.
(Nor is your dog.)


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 Post subject: Re: London Times Obituary
PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2007 8:02 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:25 pm
Posts: 22618
83.2% of those statistics were made up.


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 Post subject: Re: London Times Obituary
PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2007 10:40 pm 
that just about covers the blue side of the house clappp clappp


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