The funniest thread ever

GroovyCrimes · **Posted:** Wed Aug 15, 2007 11:26 pm

The thread is called
"I cant stop sniffing poppers when masturbating"
This is the opening post (from a lady)

Quote:

I wonder if anyone can help me. I no that poppers cant be doing me any good. But after a sesh i love nothing more than lying in bed watching some filth and sniffing poppers. Infact i cant get enough of them. Ive tried limiting my intake and have even thrown the bottle out of the window in digust the next day. I have also tried monitoring my intake but the fact of the matter is sex and poppers rock. The smell repulses me but the feeling and the filth and the sex and the cum shot i get is awsome. Ive even had to sniff in secret if i meet a guy, are these little bottles of pure filth worth it please let me no

GroovyCrimes · **Posted:** Wed Aug 15, 2007 11:27 pm

This is a reply (from another lady)

Quote:

haha I used to do that loads, it's wicked init

gone off em now tho, I think it goes in phases... my mam found mine once while cleaning my room when I was about 17/18 and I was shitting it that she found them when I saw she'd been tidying... she cornered me in the car on the way to college... lol it turned out she had found the bottle and thought it was some sort of essential oil or something... man she was fucking screwing!!! lol she said she had to go lie down for half an hour as she thought she was going to die, of course I was sitting there pissing myself laughing with her shouting at me 'ITS NOT FUNNY I COULD HAVE DIED'

GroovyCrimes · **Posted:** Wed Aug 15, 2007 11:28 pm

Another reply(from a bloke)

Quote:

Was doing the do with a lady once, sharing a bottle of amyl, and I was giving her the message from behind as she was inhaling some, I got a bit carried away and thrust a bit too hard, as you do - anyway the amyl goes up her nose, cue much panic, gasping for air, hanging out of window and much freak-out panic...

GroovyCrimes · **Posted:** Wed Aug 15, 2007 11:29 pm

& the best of the lot from another bloke

Quote:

I used to do this on speed comedowns when I was caught in the neverending Amphetamine-wank-loop......

Felt like nothing on Earth at the time, but would make me feel rough as fuck the next day.

I soon stopped after the time I honked so much in a speed fueled mastubatory frenzy that I blacked out in bliss and, when I came to, I was still hammering my poor old todger like a rabid dog in heat and I had a spilt bottle of amyl all over my chest and bed.

Yuk.

GroovyCrimes · **Posted:** Wed Aug 15, 2007 11:36 pm

Theres more

Quote:

Get amyl into a cut or wound and it's agony...

Quote:

Down ya japs eye is even better!

Quote:

Dilates your ball arteries and your bollocks explode

poolpower · **Posted:** Wed Aug 15, 2007 11:42 pm

GO AND FIND A PORN BOARD rage

GroovyCrimes · **Posted:** Wed Aug 15, 2007 11:48 pm

Its a very broad message board with forums including
General
Music
Sport
Drugs
Sex
Health
Education
Politics

Not all conversations are like that one,but I laughed out loud reading that.
Sorry if you think thats ott Mr Power,but I think its hilarious

poolpower · **Posted:** Wed Aug 15, 2007 11:58 pm

and i think it is not suitable for this board

GroovyCrimes · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:01 am

Thats your perogative.
Mods,if this is unsuitable then I apolgise,feel free to delete.

poolpower · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:03 am

it is school boy stuff
or maybe you are a school boy

Salty · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:16 am

never whacked off to em, but I used to love poppers!!

I found out at Leeds festy that it makes shite music[Ian Brown] sound really good

gives you a hell of a headache tho,as does Absythne....same bender :roll:

katcha · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 1:06 am

Oh oh - morality alert.

funny post T.

poppers - mmm takes me back - emptyhead's breakfast!!

Jonny · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 2:17 am

I think i must of had a very sheltered life, i've heard of poppers but i don't know what its for etc, some males i had from donny a few years ago thought it was all the rage

i just pretended i knew what they were on about rather than risk asking and looking thick.

townendtimmy · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 8:42 am

Jonny wrote:

I think i must of had a very sheltered life, i've heard of poppers but i don't know what its for etc, some males i had from donny a few years ago thought it was all the rage

i just pretended i knew what they were on about rather than risk asking and looking thick.

some males i had from donny confised

Mr Irrelevant · **Joined:** Thu Aug 17, 2006 8:25 pm **Posts:** 22618

I always thought they were a gay thing.

Jonny · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 10:20 am

townendtimmy wrote:

Jonny wrote:

I think i must of had a very sheltered life, i've heard of poppers but i don't know what its for etc, some males i had from donny a few years ago thought it was all the rage

i just pretended i knew what they were on about rather than risk asking and looking thick.

some males i had from donny confised

You know... Doncaster.. They are all a bit strange from that part of Yorkshire so I wouldn't be surptised if it was a gay thing. Blokes call blokes 'love' - Whats that all about?

parmopooly · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 10:30 am

Salty · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:48 pm

Mr I wrote:

I always thought they were a gay thing.

amyl nitrate is dead popular in gay clubs an that, summat to do with relaxing yer arsehole - could be wrong like....its where suede got there inspiration for animal nitrate innit?

just gives me a mad headrush and a big smile on my face :grin:

Compo · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 1:03 pm

Salty wrote:

Mr I wrote:

I always thought they were a gay thing.

amyl nitrate is dead popular in gay clubs an that, summat to do with relaxing yer arsehole - could be wrong like....its where suede got there inspiration for animal nitrate innit?

just gives me a mad headrush and a big smile on my face :grin:

they were selling them in bar paris and loons last time i was in over the bar mind you that was about a year ago

Salty · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 1:05 pm

I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but at Leeds festy we used to stand outside the herbal high stall singing the drugs dont work untill they gave us free ones to get rid of us!

then we'd go back and sing Liquid Gold to the tune of gold by spandau ballet untill they gave us free poppers!! :grin:

Compo · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 1:07 pm

Salty wrote:

I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but at Leeds festy we used to stand outside the herbal high stall singing the drugs dont work untill they gave us free ones to get rid of us!

then we'd go back and sing Liquid Gold to the tune of gold by spandau ballet untill they gave us free poppers!! :grin:

was that the year that me and mampi swift saw you when i think razolight were on the main stage i cant remember a lot about that day for obvious reasons

Salty · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 1:08 pm

na, I had the kids with me that day, so didnt get wrecked for fear of losing them!!

this was every year up till then! :wink:

works every time

Compo · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 1:10 pm

Salty wrote:

na, I had the kids with me that day, so didnt get wrecked for fear of losing them!!

this was every year up till then! :wink:

works every time

you going this year i was going to but cant get time off work

Salty · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 1:11 pm

doubt it, unless Kev's young un can smuggle us in :wink:

GroovyCrimes · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 1:11 pm

Im working at Leeds festival on the disabled viewing platform.

Salty · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 1:13 pm

guest list????? :shock:

Compo · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 1:13 pm

how you manage to get a job their or is it part of your work

GroovyCrimes · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 1:23 pm

A few years ago I used the disabled parking facilities at Glastonbury,2 years ago they decided to use a few disabled people as stewards & offered me a job,
Ive done Glastonbury Leeds & Reading since then,I would have preferred Reading this year,but Leeds is where I was sent

Compo · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 1:25 pm

GroovyCrimes wrote:

A few years ago I used the disabled parking facilities at Glastonbury,2 years ago they decided to use a few disabled people as stewards & offered me a job,
Ive done Glastonbury Leeds & Reading since then,I would have preferred Reading this year,but Leeds is where I was sent

thats great stuff are you working all the time or get to see bands, hope the rain holds up as i have seen what it can do to condiditons being a nightmare for people in wheelchairs like my dad

GroovyCrimes · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 1:35 pm

At Glastonbury its 1 shift on the disabled campsite before it all starts then 2 on the platforms (this year was 12 noon till 6 on Saturday & 6 till Midnight Sunday) at Leeds/Reading its viewing platform Friday Saturday Sunday(probably 2 shifts 12 noon till 6 & 1 shift 6 till midnight).

Yeah the rain can be a problem,it was a nightmare at Glastonbury trying to get wheelchairs to & from the viewing platforms.

The biggest problem though is dickheads wanting to be on the platform & use the disabled bogs.Last year around 20 pissheads turned up with a letter supposedly from the Arctic Monkeys claing they were mates & the band said they could use the platform to get the best view,they stormed past the stewards & shoved the chairs out of the way to get to the front of the viewing platform.I was well pissed off that I wasnt working at the time as I would have had police & security straight over & got them chucked out of the festival altogether.Iron Maidens family tried to get on one year & I fecked them off,access all areas doesnt include the viewing platform,that is strictly disabled only.

Compo · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 1:41 pm

GroovyCrimes wrote:

At Glastonbury its 1 shift on the disabled campsite before it all starts then 2 on the platforms (this year was 12 noon till 6 on Saturday & 6 till Midnight Sunday) at Leeds/Reading its viewing platform Friday Saturday Sunday(probably 2 shifts 12 noon till 6 & 1 shift 6 till midnight).

Yeah the rain can be a problem,it was a nightmare at Glastonbury trying to get wheelchairs to & from the viewing platforms.

The biggest problem though is dickheads wanting to be on the platform & use the disabled bogs.Last year around 20 pissheads turned up with a letter supposedly from the Arctic Monkeys claing they were mates & the band said they could use the platform to get the best view,they stormed past the stewards & shoved the chairs out of the way to get to the front of the viewing platform.I was well pissed off that I wasnt working at the time as I would have had police & security straight over & got them chucked out of the festival altogether.Iron Maidens family tried to get on one year & I fecked them off,access all areas doesnt include the viewing platform,that is strictly disabled only.

to true people dont seem to realise they are there for a reason and take the pi$$ people were doing that to my dad in orlando bloking his view to the shows etc although the yanks do the disabled areas good, not like the french who in the whole of paris centre there are only two metro stops with disabled lifts shocking

townendtimmy · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2007 9:35 pm

Jonny wrote:

townendtimmy wrote:

Jonny wrote:

I think i must of had a very sheltered life, i've heard of poppers but i don't know what its for etc, some males i had from donny a few years ago thought it was all the rage

i just pretended i knew what they were on about rather than risk asking and looking thick.

some males i had from donny confised

You know... Doncaster.. They are all a bit strange from that part of Yorkshire so I wouldn't be surptised if it was a gay thing. Blokes call blokes 'love' - Whats that all about?[/quote]

they'd be getting a kick in the knackers if some geezer called me love

The funniest thread ever

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