Poole (Hartley)
On 22nd of April after a long illness combined with catastrophic injuries and neglect, Hartley, aged109, slipped quietly away without a fight.
Hartleys extended family are devastated at their loss.
The funeral service will be held at St Victoria's on Saturday 29th of April, the Rev Jonah Jones officiating and Matron Coxless from the Clueless Maximum Security Twilght Home for the terminally fleeced (former Coxless workhouse) will read the eulogy and a collection will taken in lieu of flowers and Season Tickets. The choir will be present giving a mime performance of a football team. Followed by a cremation of everything in the car park.

Even though that is sad in the extreme, its brilliantly funny.

One of you best ones Mr Snow.

Can you keep it at the top for a couple of days for messages of condolence.
The undertakers Digg, Droppe and Dispose are asking for payment up front.

excellent but i would have expected the funeral service to be held privately on saturday 6th may where friends could say their final goodbyes. (sorry Snowy)

The buffet dictated the date, they were promised the overflow from the Guild of Cockernee Bovine Excrementalists Annual bash buffet at a price they couldn't refuse (the skip had no lid on). Sorry

Funny but so true. For me the grieving has already started. To be honest I'm an emotional wreck at the moment

Don't know what the worst feeling is. The anger, the feeling like a complete mug or most importantly being the helpless bystander watching a part of your life being demolished by the football version of deathwatch beetle.