Why live life worrying about what might or might not happen? Just ask the pocket yoda, read the clues he provides, and then face the future full of confidence and with a healthier bank account than you'd ever imagined.

Leave your questions here and the oracle will reply.

I'll go first. When will the Queen die (exact date needed) and will Phil marry again?

I don't Phil's into men if that's your intention.

Just thought he was a bit old for it to be honest. Had never heard he likes his crown jewels polished in a Charlie fashion.

He is Greek, goes without saying he takes one up the tailpipe KOS they started the whole bum love thingy

She not been doing well lately but I give it two more years

Dear Compo

I'd like to know who will be the next deceased minor celebrity that The Bishop starts a thread about?

Paul o grady