Stayed in this morning waiting for my new coat to be delivered. Turned up early, so put it on and went into Town.

A) On the bust there was a stinky person sat near to me.
B) The pub stunk of wet dog. The Landlord and other customer both have dogs, so I presumed that's why they couldn't smell it.
C) I took my new coat off and the smell went.
D) I put my new coat on to go for a fag and on my return the pub smelt of wet dog again.

As you can guess my new coat, straight out of the packet stinks! Do I wash it, send it back (but I took the tags off too), or try Febreeze or something on it? Or will the smell go away? This never happened to me before. I also smelled the packaging when I got home and it smelled of plastic wrapper and cardboard, not wet dog!

How weird is this? Your's Mr Confused.

If you're getting the bus to the pub on a Tuesday morning your coat has come with a fairly authentic scent for the people you're mixing with.

Did you have to fill in a short questionnaire regarding your lifestyle when you orderered it? It's quite a clever and personal service when you think about it.

Was the coat already returned from a previous buyer who didn't like something about it and smelt of wet dog.

So you pervert, who was the tramp on the other tit?
Were you successful in getting a fag?
Is the coat made from dog hair?
Did the coat get wet on way to pub?

Maybe you just fucking stink?

I was wearing my new aftershave!

Eau de Doberweillerpitbullmadbastard.....?

Thats the one!

What does the coat look like?

Smart a Reddish hooded Puffa jacket by Benetton.