Running watches. Any recommendations? The new Apple Nike looks decent.

What are the pros and cons to look out for on any of them?

I go for a jog each day.

I dont however feel the need to post the route and speed I did it on Facebook like a twat.

No idea on watches by the way.

Got a quick snap of this one while it was standing still. Much better than an Apple Nike one that only a corporate whore would wear.

I put in a fresh battery to keep my watch running!

I'm a fat bastad and I know everything there is to know about watches.
Just saying like, ginge.

Are you sure YOU'RE not Monkeybutt in disguise?

Just get mapmyrun app and run with your phone. Wouldn't buy a specific watch, and I do 150-200 miles a month.

Tell us then fatty

She uses her phone now (as do I) but I can't think of owt to buy for Christmas so was thinking one of those fancy watches might be a nice idea.

Fit bit


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His wife?

Do you sleep walk?

Hurtful and scathing. I thought you were mt friend!

Good to know there's something to look at before you sleep your last sleep, step no more and your heart rate reads zero.

A life worth counting must surely be a life worth living.

Tom Tom Sports watch fine as Elvis there are APPS for iphone strapped to your arm.

Cheers, will have to check that out.

We both use the Runkeeper app, just thought a watch might be easier than pissing about taking the phone out. Ideally I can get a watch that Runkeeper is compatible with, although that's not absolutely essential.

I wouldn't be seen with an iphone or a strap on.

Depends if you want to wear it all the time, or just when you run. Most are now designed to be worn all the time (so count steps, track sleep etc), but a dedicated fitness watch (something like the Garmin Fenix 3 - I own one) is huge so not particularly feminine for your wife. I like the Fenix 3, particularly as it also can be used as a swimming watch, but it's very chunky for an everyday watch. Also, like the vivoactive, while you get smartphone notifications, you can't respond. I would recommend the Fenix if it's just a running watch, or if you're a fitness fanatic, but not otherwise. The real benefit of a dedicated running watch is the long battery life, but that's why it's a big beast. You also need to remember the heart rate strap with something like this; the Fenix heart rate strap measures your cadence and bounce, but that's really only useful for dedicated runners.

The apple watch is more of an everyday smartwatch that also tracks activity. The series 2 does everything the Fenix three does, except that you need a dedicated app for tracking sleep. The heart rate monitor is also built into the watch; it does mean you have to wear it very 'snug' on your wrist and, over time, it dries out the skin and leaves an indentation on the top of your wrist! I have a series 1 and you have to remember to keep on recharging it. I would imagine that while the series 2 has GPS (and you don't, therefore, need a phone to run with it) this will massively decrease battery life. I cycle more than I run, but using the apple watch linked to my phone to track my cycles kills the battery on both my iPhone and my watch. The watch is also a smart watch, and you can reply to notifications, take calls and use Siri. I particularly like the inbuilt apple pay, meaning I can do contactless payments with my watch. But the smartphone features are only really useful if you use your phone a lot, and you want this on your watch. If you want the apple watch, this leaves the question of which one; the series 1 is cheaper, but doesn't have GPS and is only splash proof. You can run with the series 1 and leave your phone at home, but then it simply acts as a pedometer, and doesn't map your run. It's still reasonably accurate, particularly if you have used it with your phone perviously, as it works out your average stride length. The series 2 is more expensive, but is waterproof and has GPS.

So, I'd say apply watch for an everyday phone, or a dedicated fitness watch if it's just for running. There is one feature on the apple watch that may sway you that way; you can link the watch to a bluetooth headset and there's enough memory on the watch for a good sized playlist. In other words, if you listen to music while running, all you'll need is your watch and a decent set of bluetooth headphones (but finding a pair that stay on isn't straightforward).

One final thing; lots of people ask me, when they see the apple watch, if I would recommend it. I have to be honest, why I like it, I don't rave about it, and usually so not really. All tracking/fitness/smart watches have to make serious compromises (battery life, features, style etc) and you have to find one that works for you. I like my tech, and will probably upgrade my apple watch in the new year, but smartwatches still need a good deal of work before they have mass appeal, if they ever will.

Both, by the way, can be used with runkeeper. Garmin connect (their app) can be set up to sync automatically with runkeeper (or other apps - I link to strava) while the apple watch has a runkeeper app (and others, such as strava). One word of warning, though; using strava on the apple watch can sometimes be a pain.

I forgot to add, the apple watch is only really useful if you have an iPhone, obviously.

There is one obvious question; why would a fatman have two fitness watches? I actually have 3, as I still have my original garmin forerunner, which really is huge due to the massive GPS receiver.

Fuck me when did something as simple as going for a jog turn into such a fanny on?

Superb detailed review there Fat Man. Missed the crucial question though. Which strap on would you recommend to win over Pooliecrab?

PS I reckon you are not fat anymore. You don't run much but carrying all those hefty watches about has soon made you shed the extra pounds.

For Mr crab, a Monkeybut mask (see what I did there?).

Having a huge watch on my left wrist simply balances the extra work my right wrist has had to do over the years...

All set for a run then!

I was having a chat with French lesbian friend of mine a few years ago. She was feeling expansive and totally insisted on explaining how they satisfy each other.
So to stay on-topic, I described a strap-on and asked how they said that in French.

Well, it turns out that strap on is the one single anglicism that means the same thing in both languages.

Surely 'Le strap-on'?