The level of basic spelling in this country is attroshush!!!!
I blame the teechers!!!!

Mee Two.

I blaim perscription text and them their computery thingys!

Where is Bovver Boot Bob? He could spell. Badly.

bollocks.

BBB the only man alive able to properly spell the whole 1976 Czech Euro winning team

Sadly it was their lasses shopping list he was writing at the time.

Seriously, since the switch from nicely typed C V's to application forms now required to be filled in the applicants own handwriting, you get a much better picture of the person. I wasted a morning trying to get in touch with someone whose address, postcode and even phone number were indecipherable.

This isnt only applicable to younguns though.

I was at one of our monthly meetings last week where I was told it was my turn to take the notes.

This was bad for two reasons.

1. I switch off and dont listen to a fucking word anyone is saying. Well its an all day talking shop and I hate them.

2. I have forgotten how to write. I was supposed to email the notes around to everyone. Couldnt read a bastard word I had written.

This is getting worse. And we arent alone.

I needed to write a cheque the other week. Hadnt done that for years. I had to do it twice. You couldnt work out who it was meant for....my writing was that bad.

But it doesnt matter does it.

Its almost an ancient art that has no real place in the modern world.

Have had a light bulb moment. Is this sort of confusion wide-spread? If so it might account for the sort of team some managers end up with......

I really enjoy writing funnily enough.

Yes but you too are ancient.

I do, kids just got me a fountain pen, lovely writer.

Great innit ....finally joining the DGAFF club and happy to be deferential to no one. Liberating.

I've heard it said ,"The only people who need to be able to read you're writing is yourself" .. but if you're having trouble reading it you're really in the shit

Let's be honest, if the Colonel was ever shipwrecked on a desert island, the old message in a bottle could be safely ruled out as a rescue option.

I would just send an email.

Its alright having a bottle but where the fuck would you find a pen and some paper?

And I would be futted if my

I would just send an email.

Its alright having a bottle but where the fuck would you find a pen and some paper?

And I would be gutted if my lads got me a fountain pen. Its nearly as bad as getting slippers or a Cardigan.

Getting old is one thing growing old is a horrible thought.

This has been something I have thought about mind.

When I was a teenager my parents suddenly decided to take up ballroom dancing as it was all the rage when they were teenagers.

Does this mean that I will suddenly find pogo dancing clubs to remind me of punk music from my teenage years?

Or do we all end up ballroom dancing?

Shudders.

Ok let's look at this logically. You're shipwrecked so you get wet. Electrics fucked, but paper can be dried out.
Most importantly, you can wipe your arse on paper but your smart phone would be a poor substitute.... And the smears would get into the crevices.
Also, when the rescue services found out it was you they'd put the call on hold.

I refuse to believe you were ever 'young'. Rumours have it you questioned the teachers authority on your first day in the infants at the Victor Meldrew Academy of Perfoming Arts. Come clean and confirm or deny it !

I refuse to answer that. I can confirm though that the teachers admitted I was right. As usual.

You left out three words before and after 'right'.......there was an 'a' and 'fooking upstart' after.

Remember snowy. Teachers are as only as good as the students they teach.

They never realised just how lucky they were to have me as a student.

I did all their thinking for them.

A child prodigy, I'm just amazed your drained little brain had anything left to run on after the age of seven after giving so generously of your powers of enlightenment.
Mind, it explains a lot. :

It does. By the time I was 16, all I ended up with was two O levels, and one of them I fiddled.

Obviously I meant GCSE's, as I am not that old.

Not just the writing but I find listening closely to younger people when they are speaking every other word seems to be 'LIKE'. Does my head in, like!! Seriously though do the English teachers include using LIKE in the curriculum?

Is it any worse than the majority of our MP's that use the words "You know" in almost every sentence?

Afterall, the MP's are supposed to be the educated ones.

Watch an episode of TOWIE or Geordie shore and you will find out where they get it from, thick bints and muscle headed blokes trying to hold a conversation, tosh tv for the iphone crowd

Rooney is the worse....'blah erm blah blah erm blah erm blah blah blah erm blah erm....'!!!!

So Mr Colonel you have a CSE in Music , what was the other one in?

Excuse me. CSE's were only for the thicko's.

I cant remember exactly what I got, but I got a B in English and History.

The others are a blur, but there was a few U's in there.

I didnt even pass maths and that was a piece of piss.

You missed a blah de blah there

Heyyyyy. I didn't pass maths either. Not a lot of people will admit to that for some strange reason because in fact there is a prestigious Didn't Pass Maths Elite.

About time I made an elite group