I did hear that the squads 'look interested on the pitch' bonus has been increased by £1,000 a match, so that now stands at....£1,000 a match.

I'd expect that means over the rest of the season the tv money pot will be reduced by £5k at most

I'm reliably informed that all the money has gone on two specific projects.
One is is to pay for a jet at Teesside Airport ( Ron Force One) with the engines permanently running on Quick Reaction Alert to fly off to look at new players anywhere, anytime... and also to act as a quick getaway if it all goes catastrophically tits up this season.
The rest is to build an underground bunker under the Cyril Knowles stand with enough survival gear to remain there till the 'fuss' dies down if the same mob with burning torches/tits up scenario arises and the airports option is not viable.

I'm told Coxhall spent £150 on the Engineers Club minibus, gearing up for the away fans free travel.

So the pot is down to £220,289.

I have heard that the club are going to fully fund this years fancy dress day which is themed on david macallums Invisible man. Apparently £10k has been put aside.

They have also set aside £5 k to help some fans set up a rival trust. In a project they are calling divide and conquer.

I heard the club updated their coaching manual to the 1979 edition. Total cost = £1.70 from a local charity shop.

As part of the takeover Russ got 170k towards his Pension Fund.
Whos the best Ceo in the football league.
Its u Russ Russ
Its u Russ Russ
Oh its u Russ Russ

I have alsi heard £10K has been put aside for annual membership at wynyard golf for trusted confidants known internally as the gullibles, in a project called fourballs for favours.

From what I heard off my mate Brian Eno, or Brian Peter George St. John le Baptiste de la Salle Eno as he is known to us his mates, the club have booked a session with him to record "Who'se the best manager in the Football League" for The Great Escape Pt2

I have it also on good authority that Fruits of The Loom have upped production ready for the T-Shirts

£12k on reorganising the phone lines so it actually goes through to the correct department.

Coxall borrowed me a tenner last night for a chicken kebab from venezia


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Russ has bought all the tickle belly elite personalised gold plated prostate massagers in appreciation of their unwavering support.

Any good?

Heard they are investing 50K in a Shearer Statue

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We've bought a lawnmower off Billingham Town unsure if it's come out the TV money though

Best in town easy


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I believe it comes out of the Bovril sales revenue which is why sometimes they can't afford to replenish the lids

The gold plated tee's for the wynyard four ball must have came out of the TV money. As well as the custom polo shirts that say ''The Keyboard Warrior Haters" With "Sponsored by the Northern Echo" on the back.

How did we all forget about the Frost Free covers.


120k apparently!

Nick loughlin hoping to put some money back into club packing bags at Morrisons dressed as an JPNG cheerleader!

*5p bag surcharge applies!

Russ has stocked up on Rich Tea biscuits (£4.20 got him enough so each shareholder can have a 100) in case we ever have to shell out for an AGM again, if we ever can afford one at least this will help soften the blow at the time of such a costly event.

I heard from a bloke who lives at the top of Belk Street that 10k has gone towards cataract op's at the Nuffield for our scouting staff, and that Ron and Sam have been enrolled on a new ground-shaking course at Lilleshall - costing 5k each -entitled "Midfield it really exists" designed especially for coaches who think that a team's midfield is an unnecessary and pointless evil.
Oh and a couple of grand on a champagne bar in the referee's changing room.....for obvious reasons.

£16k spent on a 750 mile long cup-and-string phone to strengthen the link with FC Lahti.

The orchestrated cynicism on this board is disgusting and Mr Furball should be ashamed of himself for starting this thread. Answer me this question before taking the piss any further:

If JPNG are pocketing the cash how come they have embarked on a major project to get Billy Horner's blue and white Datsun back on the road? Sourcing and restoring a classic car of that nature is not cheap or easy but our owners understand that if we are going to re-establish ourselves as a perennially struggling joke club we need to invest on that sort of scale.

And that answers the question of how will they transport away fans for free

I have it on very good authority that the club have spent over £25k securing the right to own the original and all other versions of the music from the film the Great Escape.

It has been secured for two reasons:

1. As Pools have a number of gullible fans that firmly believe this sort of thing is what its all about, and would enjoy and celebrating this every year if possible, the club have decided that this is what will happen.

2. It will be an earner as every time that godawful England band play it they will owe Pools 50p. It is estimated that within 30 years it will be earning profit.

I have it on very good authority that the club have spent over £15k securing the right to own the original and all other versions of the Mr Ben franchise,

It has been secured to ensure the FDE will always have plenty of good ideas for the only day that really matters. And the club feel this will keep a large number of fans completely in their pocket.

Je vous contredire monsieur, I have it on good authority that a years worth of quality pickled onions have been purchased, meaning, unfortunately, Moore will be here next season with the said onions replacing his eyes

Another £1000 spent on 8 pringle Golf Jumpers.

I heard it was £1,100 because they went for the slightly pricier shumper option in the end. £137.50 seems like an odd price for a shumper though They must have negotiated a job lot - these JPNG lads aren't mugs.