Today I broke my own record for a lingering boff.

It was one of those really dense ones, no more than egg cup full, moist almost to the point of visibility. The aroma was pure compost heap.

I knew it would take some time to disperse, but it was still hanging round 15 minutes later. In an open plan office. I didn't know whether to be proud or alarmed.

SPEECH!! SPEECH!

"Confident appeal by the Australians there"
"A bit more choke and that would've started"
Etc.

I like the ones where you drop one and move quickly through a crowded area to a position of vantage where you can see the disgruntled looks that start sprouting up once people realise some fucker has dropped their guts.

I used to like doing that when getting off a bus. I might do it tomorrow in fact, for old times' sake.

No better place than a packed terrace.

I prefer dropping them in Tesco, near the food counters, people then swerve it due to thinking the meat/fish is off

Disgusting.