When they were called Crab sticks, they were really nice. Now they have to call them Ocean sticks they're a bit bland . Used to be able to unroll them for sarnies, now they just go to mush. All good things are worse than they use to be, Topic bars for example.

  And now it’s time for Alan’s ‘Fact of the Day’. Crabsticks do not actually contain any crab, and from 1993 manufacturers have been legally obliged to label them ‘crab-flavoured’ sticks. Another one of those same time tomorrow.