have it on very very good authority that brown has been sold to three clubs.

ajax of amsterdam have paid 2.4 million for his head.

spurs, as rumoured last week, have bought his body for 3 million.

celtic, as also rumoured on here, paid 22.9 million for his legs.

pools boss danny wilson commented :

" we were originally going to sell simply the head to the highest bidder. by keeping the legs we thought the lad would still get goals for us. however despite getting him to sign a new contract last week, we felt these offers were too good to turn down."

ken hodcroft refused to comment on rumours that a large chunk of the money generated by the transfer would be used to build a specialist pie outlet behind the town end to deal with the increased demand now that dibble goes in there.